Dear Google,

Let me start off by saying that you are everywhere.  It is hard to not eventually use one of your many features.  And quite frankly, you’re so easy, who wouldn’t want to use any of the features you offer?  When I’m trying to think of a movie that I so desperately need to remember the title for, what do I do?  Google it.  When I can’t think of the correct spelling of a word, what do I do?  Google it.  When I want to watch funny cat videos, what do I do?  Well usually I find those randomly on MSN or YouTube, but I have Googled it before, and I’m sure I will again.  What I’m saying is that it is hard not to use you as my go-to for just about everything. 

However, as of late, you are becoming quite the pain in my rear-end.  I have some spare time throughout my days, and I like to do a little chatting with one of my pals.  I have a Gmail account.  I forced her to setup a Gmail account.  Now we have both things that are necessary for Gmail chat.  But you gave me hell from the beginning.  Typing words is very difficult with you.  Sometimes I have to hit one key 5 times before you decide to actually record that letter.  I type fairly quickly, and I don’t have the time to stop after every key to check if you weren’t sure that I actually wanted to use that letter, so you just left it out.  If I pressed that key, then you should assume that I wanted to use it.  If I hit the wrong key on accident I can go back and correct it myself.  I don’t need your help.  I know this sounds like it could be an issue with my keyboard, but I’ve tried other keyboards with no luck.  I’m glad it’s not just my keyboard, because I really like my keyboard and would hate to have to replace it.  You also do the same thing for my pal on her computer.  Not cool.  Get your shit together so I can chat freely and with ease. 

Also, why was I not invited to use Google+?  I like Facebook.  I hear that Google+ is a social network, much like Facebook.  I can only imagine that I would be willing to use Google+.  Did you sense the anger I had already had toward you with your chatting issues?  If that’s the case, get over it.  Send me the invite. 

While I’m at it, I have a few other requests for you, if you don’t mind.  I’d like some more theme colors in Gmail.  Something good too.  Your colors are seeming to be either very dull or make it hard to read the font.  I have terrible eyesite, much like that of a 90 year-old, and I don't need you to make my eyes strain anymore than they already do.  You could also make the pop-in chat window a little larger.  And from now on, when I want to search for something I want you to know exactly what it is I want to find and you just go right ahead and find it, without me having to do any of the work.   I don’t need to type it in, nor do I need to click on several links before I find what I’m looking for.  You just take me right to it.  Basically, I want you to read my mind.  I’m surprised you can’t do that yet anyway. 

Maybe it’s a little ironic that the letter I’m writing to you is being posted in the blog space owned by you.  I say ‘who cares?’  I sure don’t.  Now it looks like you’ve got some shaping up to do, Google.  Get to it.

Love always,

Jennifer